Ruth Musser Middle School -Class of 2013

I look at this little boy., becoming a Man., I am in awe. He is so precious & I am so proud.

Teaching him to read at 4 and all he wanted to read about was Presidents and Cowboys! 

I remember taking him to Kindergarten & the teacher saying he had a learning disability because he wouldn't speak to her., shy as he was, he has outgrown that! Though like his Father, slow to speak and always listening.

These are a few of his Jr. high day pictures. I am grateful despite his Dad's and my relationship, we kept traditions. Taking him to lunch after his first day and last day of school. 

I am so proud of you Lance James and though it's going to quickly I am proud watching you grow.

I know highschool will fly by., I look forward to moments shared of chatting with you and I pray no matter how old you get you will always know the special place in my heart for you and how much I treasure the gift you call me Mom.

Lance sent me this collage ^^^

Here's to 40!

I can't believe I am 40., I mean aren't you "supposed" to have arrived somewhere by now? O ya, that's me comparing myself to others..
That's what 40 has given me., to be confident on my journey, to know those who want me in their life & I in there's., we have placed one another there & nurtured our relationship. It means I'm right where I am supposed to be., I'm not rich in finances but my blessings from God are beyond my dreams.
I haven't earned mother of the year, but I show up daily to be the best Mom I can be. I fall short in perfect wife department., but daily I try to improve & thankfully My Husband & I know., we are a work in progress.
I'm me good days bad day & everything in between. God & Sobriety first & the rest will work out just as it's supposed to. My life is far from perfect., I fight emotional battles daily., from where I'm sitting 40 is looking pretty great & I look forward to what & who the next 40 will bring...Thank you for being a part of my journey! God Be with You on Yours.

Our 40th Birthday!

Our 40th Birthday Weekend In Pictures

Letting Go...

A letter if you will to My Mother~~

I have to laugh at my thoughts today., as I think., how do you let go of something you never had?

I don't resent you, really I just accept you. I accepted you long ago without condition because that is how God loves me.
I accepted all the good the bad just you., because I have been dealing with this so many years.
Only through my acceptance of you., can I accept me., just where I am . I don't feel sorry for you, as I realize their are no victims at a certain point of life.
YOU choose & you have.
I accept that & in accepting you., it is time in my life I let you go.
Not without pain, but in love., I love you, I always have and I always will.
However, Today, I choose today for the first time in my life I choose to walk away from you, because I have walked in the light with people that have walked boldly & set the example. I can't walk in darkness anymore. I have learned once you know better you do better., that is a choice, a choice I can walk in or a choice I can ignore. I've tried to ignore it & I can't ignore it and become the me I need to be. I can't choose to ignore the truth., I know better., I must act in the way I know.
I choose Freedom from self, Freedom in Sobriety., Freedom from you.

May you have Peace that passes all understanding. May people that you need to meet & know come into your path to guide you. God be with you.

Silent Disease (s)

That feeling when you wake up exhausted & just woke up.
That feeling when you just want to go & have fun & be free, but you feel like you can't move.
I have heard people say if you walked with God & have faith those things wouldn't happen., in my opinion that couldn't be further from the truth. I do have faith & I do walk with God. It doesn't change that my mind & body ache & think as they do.